Fast as Fuck Food Delivery

Is your name Johny Hatz?

Do you have $50?

Do you need hand sanitizer and toilet paper?**

Have we got news for you!

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Here at Fast as Fuck Food Delivery for Fifty Dollars, we can deliver your home needs in as little as 3 months!

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Just shoot us an email with what you need and we'll pick it up and get to you in under two shakes of a lamb's tail.***

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We have hand sanitizer**, toilet paper**, half a gallon of whole milk, and mostly fresh fruit and vegetables.

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*Some restrictions apply.

**Currently unavailable.

***Each lamb's tail shake is approximately 1 (one) month.